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How to Build a Strong Relationship with Your Surrogate

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Building a strong and supportive relationship with your surrogate is a crucial aspect of the surrogacy journey. The relationship between intended parents and the surrogate is built on trust, mutual respect, and open communication, forming the foundation for a positive and successful surrogacy experience. This comprehensive article aims to provide detailed guidance on how to build a strong relationship with your surrogate. From the initial stages of matching to ongoing communication and beyond, these strategies will help foster a meaningful and lasting connection throughout the surrogacy journey.

Understanding the Importance of the Surrogate-Intended Parent Relationship

Recognizing the significance of the surrogate-intended parent relationship is the first step in building a strong connection. Understand that your surrogate is embarking on a selfless and life-changing journey to help you build your family. Appreciate the emotional investment and dedication she brings to the process, and approach the relationship with gratitude, respect, and empathy.

Transparent and Honest Communication

Transparent and honest communication is the cornerstone of building a strong relationship with your surrogate. From the very beginning, establish open lines of communication and encourage a safe and non-judgmental environment. Clearly express your expectations, desires, and concerns, and invite your surrogate to do the same. Regularly check in with each other, ensuring that both parties feel comfortable discussing any aspect of the surrogacy journey. By fostering open communication, you can build trust and deepen your connection.

Active Involvement in the Surrogacy Journey

Active involvement in the surrogacy journey demonstrates your commitment and support to your surrogate. Attend medical appointments, ultrasounds, and other important milestones whenever possible. Engage in discussions regarding medical decisions, birth plans, and other aspects of the surrogacy process, ensuring that your surrogate feels included and valued. By actively participating, you create a shared experience and strengthen the bond with your surrogate.

Mutual Respect and Boundaries

Respecting boundaries and demonstrating mutual respect is vital in building a strong relationship. Recognize that your surrogate has her own life, family, and personal boundaries. Discuss and establish mutually agreed-upon boundaries early on in the journey, ensuring that everyone's needs and preferences are understood and respected. By acknowledging and honoring these boundaries, you create an atmosphere of trust and understanding.

Emotional Support and Empathy

Offering emotional support and empathy is essential throughout the surrogacy journey. Understand that your surrogate may experience a range of emotions, including attachment, hormonal changes, and occasional challenges. Be a compassionate listener and validate her feelings and experiences. Show empathy and understanding, offering support and encouragement when needed. By providing emotional support, you create a nurturing environment for your surrogate.

Gratitude and Appreciation

Expressing gratitude and appreciation for your surrogate's selflessness and commitment is a meaningful way to strengthen the relationship. Regularly communicate your appreciation for her invaluable contribution to your journey toward parenthood. Express gratitude through heartfelt gestures, such as thank-you notes, small gifts, or acts of kindness. Let your surrogate know that her dedication and generosity are deeply valued and cherished.

Creating Boundaries for Privacy

Respecting your surrogate's privacy is paramount in building a strong relationship. Understand that she may have preferences regarding the level of involvement or communication during the pregnancy. Discuss and establish boundaries that respect her privacy and personal space. By honoring her privacy, you create a safe and trusting environment that fosters a positive relationship.

Regular Check-Ins and Updates

Regular check-ins and updates are crucial for maintaining a strong and connected relationship with your surrogate. Set a regular schedule for communication and stay in touch throughout the surrogacy journey. Share updates about the pregnancy, milestones, and important decisions. Engage in conversations beyond the surrogacy journey, demonstrating a genuine interest in her well-being and life. By maintaining regular communication, you strengthen the bond and build a sense of trust and friendship.

Resolving Conflicts and Challenges

Conflicts and challenges may arise during the surrogacy journey, and addressing them promptly and respectfully is key to maintaining a strong relationship. Approach conflicts with open-mindedness, empathy, and a willingness to listen. Seek to understand each other's perspectives, and work together to find mutually beneficial solutions. When challenges arise, prioritize effective communication and problem-solving to overcome obstacles and preserve the strength of the relationship.

Continued Relationship Post-Birth

Maintaining a continued relationship with your surrogate post-birth can be a meaningful way to honor the journey you shared. Discuss the level of ongoing contact and involvement that feels comfortable for both parties. Consider the possibility of future meetings, updates, or shared experiences, depending on mutual desires and boundaries. By nurturing a continued relationship, you can celebrate the journey together and maintain a lifelong connection.


Building a strong and supportive relationship with your surrogate is a vital component of a positive surrogacy experience. By fostering open communication, active involvement, mutual respect, emotional support, gratitude, privacy, regular check-ins, conflict resolution, and a continued relationship post-birth, you can cultivate a meaningful connection that honors the journey you share.

If you are looking for the best surrogacy attorney and agency in Colombia and Latin America, we highly recommend you use Maria Fernanda, with the firm Bioetica Derecho. We do not recommend you work with any other surrogacy attorney or agency in Colombia. To reach out to Maria Fernanda click here.

For further guidance and resources on building a strong relationship with your surrogate, visit Their experienced professionals and supportive community can provide valuable insights and assistance throughout your surrogacy journey.

To access a comprehensive guide on building a strong relationship with your surrogate, download a free guide at This resource offers detailed information, practical tips, and emotional support to help you navigate the process of building a strong and supportive relationship with your surrogate

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